Friday, August 14, 2009

gigi is such a bitch.

yesterday was HELL. i almost got fired.

i think i've mentioned how we're supposed to be at work at the house at 10am, but that's fucking ridiculous and i usually shoot for 11, which STILL feels ridiculous because my appointments usually start around noon AT THE EARLIEST. and it's been really sunny so people haven't been starting to call until the late afternoon.

anyway, yesterday i was putzing around my apartment and i knew i should get up to the house, but i thought i might be able to slip through the cracks because gigi's been sick and jane was leaving that morning for this tantric love festival thingy out in the woods. so i thought i'd just turn my phone on and go about my business here at home till i had a REASON to go up to the house, i.e. an appointment.

so round about noon i got a couple of calls and i started to get my bag together and get ready to leave. i was about to step out the door when gigi called.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" she yelled.

"i'm on my way up to the house," i said.


"i was feeling kind of sick so i thought i'd head up there a little late. i've had my phone on, though, and my ad's up," i said.

"NO NO NO," she said. "this is NOT HOW IT WORKS. you didn't think to CLEAR IT with me or jane?! just thought you'd mosey up there whenever you FELT like it?"

as if that's just the most outlandish thing she's ever heard. 

anyway, then she went on a looooong tirade about how i'm not making them enough money and how it's this kind of careless attention to detail that is why i'm not a very good earner lately. i told her i never book appointments before noon and that it ruins my whole day to sit up there for hours and hours doing nothing. she got pissed about that, said there was A LOT i could be doing.

this led into a lengthy complaint about how gross the house has gotten, how we girls are a bunch of lazy slobs, how that's why she can't get any CLASSY girls to work there!!! "they take one look at the place and are out the door," she said. it reminded me of how my mom would get dumped by a boyfriend and she'd blame it on us kids and our poor housekeeping. "he took one look at this dump and i never saw him again," i remember her saying.  (she'd also use this excuse whenever we'd say "we miss you, can't you stay home with us once in a while," she'd say if we weren't such slobs she could bring guys home instead of staying away with them for days on end. it was so fucked up, because we were KIDS--like younger than 10--and we were responsible for all the housework and for raising each other.)

anyway thank goddess gigi's not my fucking mom. when she says that the house is gross, though, i just feel like: WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE PAYING YOU FOR? hire a fucking cleaner once a week or whatever. it's not my job to deep clean the fucking shithole apartment.

it was so super annoying to listen to her bitch and bitch because i still had a couple things to do before i could leave and it was hard with her on the phone, so she was only making me later and later. she went of on MANY different tangents. among them: you need new photos (and then, several ideas for possible photo shoots),  and you don't have any reviews (which she says must be because i'm not BAD enough to warrant a bad review, but am not good enough for a good review. "you must be pretty forgettable," she said. then she offered me lots of ideas for stepping up my game. "haven't you ever had a hairdresser that made you feel really pretty? you gotta be like that--just make each client feel very special." the thing about gigi is that she acts like you are retarded and so instead of just telling you something, she provides an example. and usually one example isn't enough to drive the point home, so she'll offer several. in this case, there was the hairdresser example, and then there was the bartender example, and also the salesgirl example. ENOUGH ALREADY YOU FUCKING CRAZY BITCH. SHUT UP SO I CAN BRUSH MY TEETH AND GET TO WORK. P.S. I HATE YOU).

the other tangent was that "the art of the hand job has been lost." oh blah blah blah. fuck you gigi.

anyway i FINALLY got to work. i called her from the house phone to tell her i was there, got yelled at some more. then had two clients. the first one was just some random guy who was really good looking but boring and entitled. the second one, though, was RAD. he was smelly and fat, but super charming. i didn't like massaging him, but i did really enjoy talking to him. AND he brought me flowers. weird ones, though. he wanted to impress me by not giving me typical flowers because he's more thoughtful than that. i would have preferred pretty, regular flowers. but it was the thought that counted. AND after the massage, he gave me a gift--some GORGEOUS earrings that he had made! he makes jewelry. these earrings are super cute! i put them on right away. usually when someone gives me anything to wear (which is hardly ever, actually), it's terrible and i have to pretend to like it. but these are really great.

yeah. so. nothing else happened that was interesting. lily got halfway-fired for always being so drunk at work and for missing a shift without calling. also this bitchy co-worker of ours said she feels "unsafe" with her at work. now she can only work when gigi or jane is there to supervise her. but yesterday it was just me and angie working so she came in. she didn't have any calls, though, just ended up drinking a bottle of wine and passing out on the couch for several hours with her pants down. strange pose! but it was good to see her, i'd missed her.

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