scary.

aaah! my heart's still kind of racing. i just had such a creepy scary experience.

things have been so weird lately. i'll giv eyou the backstory: so, on saturday i didn't even see ONE CLIENT! i had two cancellations, which almost never ever happens. one of them just didn't even show up, and the other one was this guy "jim." he made an appointment for 3pm, called at 2 to confirm, and then at 2:45 called to say he wasnt going to be able to make it, that it was to nice of a day and he was going on a bike ride instead. it was annoying, but not that big a deal.

then i had one more appointment. a guy named tim. he acted like he'd never been here before, but when i looked in the book he was in there, on the good list.

[a note on The Book: we have a binder that's organized by phone number. there's a section of numbers that start with 2, then 3, then 4, and so on. and next to the number is the guy's name and sometimes a brief description. there's a Good List (GL) and a Bad List (BL). some of the descriptions are interesting, but not scary, like:
ron: hugely obese, no-shows
mike: also calls as andy, asian, never brings enough money
terry: gets mad, says you are not "turned on"
michael: wanted to write a check! haha!
alfred: bad hygiene. walked out when shower was requested

then some of them are just vague and bizarre, like "ron: piggish," or "joe: total freak."

but mostly, they are scary as hell:
john: very bad, con man. (and then, in different writing) fake cop. will rob you.
ray: 86'd for assault
jack: can take if it's slow, but DO NOT LET HIM TIE U UP
rob: robbed at knifepoint
bo: pushy, rude, feared for safety
steve: motorcycle rapist
bill: stalker

and then there are a lot of different guys with these same descriptions:
cop?
psycho
multiple rude walkouts
very aggressive
huge flake
asshole
wants heavy mutual
demands full service
inserts fingers without asking
very grabby.

anyway, when you set an appointment with someone, you're always supposed to look their number up in the book and if they're not in there you put them on the GL or the BL after they leave.]

so back to saturday: i had looked up this guy tim in the book and he was on the good list. meaning that he'd definitely been here before. and then he acted like he hadn't ever been here. which i thought was weird. so then he shows up and pretends to get lost in the building. finally he finds the right apartment and knocks on the door.

i look through the peephole but he's sort of standing to the side so i can only see his shoulder. i wait for him to knock again so i can get a look at him before i open the door. he knocks again and then hops out of my line of sight. he knows i'm looking through the peephole and wants to play hide-n-seek. what a creep. i open the door. he's about 40, medium-height, asian, shaggy black hair, huge sunglasses, ed hardy t-shirt (barf), and light tan cargo pants that are waaaaay too low-waisted and are hanging off him so low that i can see the beginning of his pubes. totally grody.

he's being all shifty and goes, "wow the numbering system in this building is so weird."

"yes," i say, playing along with his ruse of never having been here before.

he says, "it was really hard to find this place." he's just standing there. making no move to come in.

"haha," i say. "well, you're here now. are you going to come in?"

he looks me up and down. "you're mandy?"

"yes." (WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I BE, ASSHOLE?)

"yeah. um. i'm gonna pass." he says and starts walking down the hall. then, over his shoulder, "i'm gonna pass."

what a fucking weirdo. i was annoyed because when i made that appointment i had been getting ready to go out for a walk, but then changed into my little dress and put on makeup and heels and whatever. what a waste of time. but on the other hand, i was also really really glad that he went away. i was repulsed by the very sight of him and was SUPER not looking forward to any dealings with him at all. i was already thinking, "how am i gonna get through this?" so then i was off the hook.

i went downstairs and told the story to my co-worker. we agreed that he was a drugged-out asshole. i crossed his name off of the good list and moved him to the bad list.

my co-worker told me a story of when she first started working here, she had just broken up with this guy and he kept trying to contact her but she wasn't taking his calls. anyway, he saw her ad and knew it was her. he booked an appointment from a friend's number and called himself "joe." she really didn't have any idea it was him. and he fucking showed up here! i said, "what did you do?!"

"i just fall on the floor and covering up my face," she said (she's eastern european, sometimes her verb tenses are askew in english). "and i told him to get out! get out!"

i said, "whoa. wow. whoa."

she goes, "yes. whoa. 'twas one of the worst moments in my life."

so. anyway. neither one of us had even one appointment that day. it sucked!

today's monday. when i got to work the guy, jim, called. the one who had cancelled to go on a bike ride. i said, "i remember you. you made an appointment with me on saturday but then went for a bike ride instead."

he goes, "oh yeah. well, i'll make it up to you today."

so then we set an appointment for 2pm. he came and when i was watching him on the door camera, i got a weird feeling about him. something about the way he jerked on the door after i buzzed him in sent this weird little lightning bolt through me.

i went upstairs and waited to let him in. he knocked. i opened the door. he came in and i immediately felt very ill at ease. he was on the short side, but muscly, with a little hat that i don't know how to describe. fashionable straw hat with a gucci hatband. he had a very odd manner. i took him by the hand and led him back to the massage room. his hand felt hard and terrible to me. i was trying not to be paranoid. i gave him his towel and went to run a shower for him. when i went back into the room he had undressed and was wearing fancy looking red underwear. i said, "wow, what nice undies," and ran my hand over his ass. he didn't smile or anything, just kept up with his steely gaze. i said, "well i've got your shower running. shall we take care of the business before the pleasure?"

"how much is it?" he said.

i thought, is he a cop? i said, "it's just the amount listed in my massage ad."

he goes, "well i don't have your ad right in front of me."

i said, "okay then. well, in that case the donation is $180."

he gave me $200. i just felt weird about him. just really really not right and kind of scared of him. looking into his face, i felt like i was looking into the face of a scary, bad person. he could play "the devil" in a movie. that's how he looks. that's his creepy energy.

i went downstairs while he took a shower. i said to my co-worker, "i'm really freaked out about this guy." i all of a sudden realized i hadn't looked him up in the book! i looked him up. he was on the bad list and it said, "scary. creepy. wants full service. demands money back at end."

i said, "oh no angie! i just looked this guy up and he's on the bad list!"

she goes, "uh oh! it's not JIM, is it? i saw that guy last week. look!" she said, turning in the schedule book to the day she'd seen him. she'd written, "i won't ever see him again! what an asshole! mean! wanted f/s, demanded money back. "

then i knew i had to get rid of him. but how? i felt really scared. i hated climbing up the stairs to tell this guy to leave. i worried that he'd get mean or violent. i knew he'd be mad. i said, "hey jim. i just threw up. i really don't feel well. i'm not gonna be able to see you today, i'm really sorry sweetie." i handed him his money back.

he said, "are you sure that's the reason?"

i said, "yes. i just feel very sick."

he goes, "are you SURE?" his voice sounded scary and menacing.

i said, "yes. so you'll just need to get dressed and leave. i'm really sorry."

he was pissed. he took his sweet time getting dressed, like A LONG time. i was really really super creeped out. he finally left, slamming the door super hard behind him. it was scary. i was all shaky.

it's really really scary to think of what could happen. like what if he did't want to leave? or if he decided to rape me? it's not like i could call the cops, they'd probably just arrest ME.

i can't think like this right now. i have to try and let it go. i need to start looking for some other kind of work, though, i think. this job's starting to freak me out.