thank you, tough girl.

i was going to write the other day but i forgot. anyway i worked on sunday night and it was a great night to work, i made a lot of money and didn't have to work too hard for it. it was a super mellow, enjoyable night except for this one crazy thing that happened. i was giving a lapdance and out of NOWHERE this woman comes barreling thru the curtain and smashes into me. she was so wasted she thought she was barreling herself into the door, to heft it open and leave the club. but instead she threw all her weight into me. i screamed, because it surprised me and also really hurt. then she was on top of me and i was on top of my customer, it was a very uncomfortable sandwich, and the lady was so wasted she was taking forever to get her bearings. i managed to scramble out from beneath her.

"get out of here!" i yelled.

her boyfriend was right behind her and started yelling at me, "fuck you! you two dollar whore!" he had some kind of accent i was too stressed out to try to place. "you're a piece of shit! don't yelling at my girlfriend!"

"who cares just get out!" i yelled.

then he started putting his fists up in my face, menacingly. "you want a piece of these you cheap skinny-ass ho?"

i have had my nose broken by a stranger before, just some regular drunk dude whose heterosexual privilege was threatened one new year's eve when i was giving my girl friend a new year's kiss and then wouldn't give him one when he demanded it. before that happened, i kind of assumed that if a stranger was going to hit me, it would be someone who wanted to rob me. you know, a mugger, not just some pissed off frat boy. but i learned firsthand that totally random men will surprise you by punching the shit out you if they are angry and feel entitled to do so. so this guy's fists waving in front of my face scared me.

there had been a hot dark-haired stripper from another club sitting at the rack earlier, and all of a sudden she was right there, pinning the guy's neck against the wall with her arm, which was broken and had a cast on it (from punching some other customer's lights out, btw). this girl had the guy and his girlfriend out in no time. what a sweetie.

well. then i was all shaky. and my neck felt out. turning my head was sending wild electric pains down my body. my customer claimed to be a massage therapist, and wouldn't you know it but he totally put my neck back in place. good as new! my back still hurts, but i think i'm gonna be okay.

i had decided not to drink that night. but i needed to calm my nerves. and also i wanted to do a shot with my impromptu bouncer. i asked her what we should have. i was hoping she wouldn't say a lemondrop or something. she goes, "tequila. duh!" so we had a shot. she goes, "to no more dumb mean guys!"

and i said, "NO WAY! this one's for tough-ass strippers!" she liked that. i don't know what this girl's name was, but if you see a hot girl at union jack's with long black hair and a black cast on her arm, treat her good! get a dance! make it rain!