shit my mom says, or, "ALL SNEAKY AND GOTH"

so i'm down south, i haven't felt like working very much. i did see a client today, a new guy. he was actually really hot! it was a fun time.

but since i don't have very much work to write about, i'm going to start a new segment for this blog called "shit my mom says," where i will either quote her directly, or copy and paste things from her facebook page for your perusal.

my mom really loves facebook and posts there a lot, at all hours. whenever i'm bored i'll have a short visit to her page and let the laughs begin. i'm not laughing AT her, by the way. she knows she's a weirdo and she loves attention. and she loves to make all her friends laugh. another thing i'll tell you is that she's very flamboyant, loud, and charming. she's really poor, and only finished the 8th grade so her grammar and spelling are kinda fucked, but she's actually really smart.

today she left a comment on my 22 year-old step-sister's page (i'm leaving out the names):

"LMAO remebering how you and [other stepsister] Tatooed the neighbor boy Mitchell ....you were all like 11-12 yrs old ....his mom was po'd ....lol ! He grew up kinda WEIRD ....I am almost positive he is the one stole [brother's] bike ....he cant even look me in the eyes ...all sneaky and GOTH ....hope he still has that tat !"

then a little later my cousin's status update stated that she hated her new boss, to which my mom replied:

HONEY MY LAST BOSS WAS LIKE THAT ....A ST8 UP BIOTCH ...I WORKED FRONT DESK DENTAL CKINIC ...SHE WAS UNFAIR, AWFUL AND I EVEN FANTASIZED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I ROLLED A GRENADE IN HER OFFICE ....JUST A BRIEF THOUGHT ...SHE WAS THAT BAD COS SHE FIRED ALMOST EVERYONE BUT ME AND NO FLOATS WOULD EVEN COME THERE EVEN WHEN I QUIT I WAS SO SCARED OF HER BIG BUTT MY ROOMIE HAD TO CALL AND QUIT FOR ME ...WONT B USING HER FOR A REFERENCE ..THE BIOTCH

PS. SHE CALLED ME IN HER OFFICE ,THE FEW OTHER EMPLOYEES LEFT LOOKED SOOO SCARED FOR ME ....SHE WROTE ME UP FOR DRESSING TOO FLAMBOYUNT ,( ITS CALLED STYLE) ANYHO WHEN I CAME OUT WITH THE WRITE UP SLIP EVERYONE WAS LIKE "OH SORRY..." i SAID U R KIDDING I AM 50 AND GET A WRITE UP FOR BEING FLAMBOYUNT ...i AM FRAMIN THIS WITH PRIDE( IT WAS THE NAILS AND HAIR AND CLOTHES NOT AGE APPROPRIATE....BUT THE BOSSES PET WHO WORE CLOGS WITH XMAS SOCKS YEAR ROUND WAS OKAY ???

p.s. lol.....and the bosses pet ( related to like the regional manager ) the xmas socks yr round chick had ocd not tryin to hate but they warned us she loved to get into other folks lunches squeeze or eat whatever she wanted WTH?....I was like ...Hello ,I would have like to hav known about her sandwich squezin ,lord knows whatt esle ? yea sumthin I would have liked to have known like the past 4 months shed been working with me ? I then thought HMmmm I do seem to remeber a few flat sandwiches ?...urghhh After that my lunch stayed in my car ...and how fair was that we were told even if u catch her in the act ....do not confront after all she was like sister in law or sumthin to the head honcho ....and a few RHINESTONE on your nails and some big hair and leopard print glasses were a problem? Go figure ! lol"

that's it for now. xo andi