Sunday, January 20, 2013

beach house

today i was sitting with a customer who, like many customers, felt compelled to brag to me about his personal fortune. it's so weird when people say, "i'm worth three million dollars," or whatever amount they pull from the ether. first of all, no you're not. second of all, why you gotta phrase it like that? it sounds so literal, like your entire being is worth x amount of money. maybe i am a nut, but i am uncomfortable putting a specific monetary value on a human life.

anyway i was sitting with a customer who was telling me how rich he was "in california." he just moved here and had "closed on a house today." hmm. last time i checked banks weren't open on sundays. and tomorrow's martin luther king day on top of that. but he had a weird hawaiian shirt and jeans on that could've been the outfit of a rich eccentric, and i was waiting to see if he'd buy some dances. so i sat with him and listened to him talk about his malibu beach house. "haha you have a beach house....CD," i joked. he didn't get it. he'd never heard of beach house the band, and i don't think it occurred to him that i was doubting his story. he was so committed to telling it, clearly relishing his own inventive details.

well then i got back up on stage and he continued to sit at a table, while seeming sad to see me go, which i assumed meant he didn't have money to sit at the tip rack. my hunch was confirmed when i looked over at him and he was texting on a giant old flip phone.

i guess you can tell a stripper any story you want, and though most guys tell regular old stories dripping with mundane truth, there's always gonna be your poor guys claiming to be rich, your married guys claiming to be single (and trying to get your number), your community college teacher who says he's a surgeon. just another day in the fantasy cave.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

mommy issues and butch daddies

i was down south last week taking care of some legal matters (arg!) and seeing a few clients. i may have mentioned that my best client, the hot doctor, broke up with me because he got a girlfriend. i had become quite used to seeing him a few times a month, and i really liked him a lot. in fact, i always looked forward to seeing him. that extra few hundred dollars a week didn't hurt, either. but i'm happy for him, in a broke kind of way. so i saw some other totally fine, but less favorite clients. the bossy japanese businessman i've written about before, who likes to meet me in a private hot tub room at the japanese bathhouse. the sweet aging frat boy who is about 40 but still wears a white baseball cap and abercrombie & fitch hoodies. he lives in a super fancy house on the edge of town and insists on paying for my roundtrip cabfare ($80) instead of just coming to my incall. totally fine with me--i love outcalls because then i don't have to pay the house.

i also did a BDSM double with a good friend of mine and her regular, in which she played the guy's mommy and i was his hot cousin. i've done domination/humiliation doubles with this friend before, and she never ceases to amaze me with her ability to set a scene, and just TALK. she is seriously theee best dirty talker and boss bitch i've ever known. truly inspirational. i could really see how this client likes to be babied by her, because she is so totally confident and in control that he can take off his fancy suit, lay down his CEO vigilance, and just trust her completely with his unusual desires for a couple of hours. the story was that he had stolen a pair of her underwear, and on and on from there. there was some sick mommy stuff, spanking followed by positive reinforcement, followed by more spanking. the guy wanted his pain boundaries pushed, so we beat him so thoroughly he ended up using his safeword, "red." and then the finale was some cousin/cousin jerkoff action. whenever i've doubled with this girl, she's the talking top, doing almost all of the talking, and i'm the bottom, following her lead, agreeing with whatever she's said, and filling in details here and there. to even out the workload i always jerk the guy off and clean up the room after. it feels fair splitting the $ that way.

after that session i went to meet a friend at a bar to watch a trailblazer's game. it's usually hard to find a sports bar outside of portland where they will show the blazers on a big screen, but my friend knows the owner of this place. when i arrived at the bar, my friend wasn't there yet. i sat down at the bar, next to an older butch of the white-collar professional variety. she kept glancing over at me, and when i ordered a drink she told the bartender to put on her tab. i thanked her, and we ended up chatting. she told me about her fancy job for a while, then when she asked what i did, i just didn't feel like lying about it so i told her i strip and do sensual massage. it's like she was waiting for me to say that or something, because she immediately started telling me about her call girl!!!

she said she's super busy and just doesn't have time to go out trying to meet girls (yet apparently has time to sit drinking alone at sports bars, but let's just go with her version here), plus she really only likes super high femme pretty girls who are younger than she, and she acknowledges that she herself has gotten kind of frumpy over the years, and is somewhat out of touch with younger culture. but she has a lot of money, so after tossing the idea around for YEARS, she finally decided she would just seek an arrangement with somebody.  she thought about calling an actual prostitute, but when she thought about what she wanted, she just wanted to be touched and massaged, and have hand-sex. so she called a few massage girls to see if they saw women. most were honest and said that they didn't really want to, but finally one of them referred her to a lesbian co-worker, who mostly sees guys but talks about wanting to see women. the butch called the lezzie up, and she has been coming over once or twice a week ever since. "she is just a knockout," she said. "and we have amazing chemistry. whether it's real or manufactured, i don't know. but i feel it."

wow. i was kind of floored. but also really happy for the girl and the butch. sounds like a perfect arrangement for them. i, personally, have zero interest in seeing women on a work level. i mean, if i could see them first maybe, but that's not generally part of the deal. it's not supposed to matter what the client looks like anyway, they are choosing you.  also, it seems like that would be too intimate, would too closely resemble the type of actual sex i engage in (when i am so lucky). my actual sex life is important to me and i don't want to wreck it.

anyway. just another day full of weird characters. it's nice to go down south and be around interesting people basically every minute of every day. kind of counter-balances the entire days i spend not talking to a single person up in portland.

p.s. the blazers won! which hardly ever happens, and was definitely cause for celebration.