Saturday, February 12, 2011

twas a long week!

hi. i've been working a whole bunch. the other day a guy came in who i had just met a week and a half ago, and who had bought $300 in table dances. he sat at my rack for three whole songs before i recognized him, and that's only because i was like, "why is this guy looking so dejected and radiating such extreme badtitude?" then i was like, oh shit. "hi ryan! how are you?" luckily he had on brand new glasses, which were much different from the ones he'd worn before. whew. when guys buy like 15 dances in a row from you and then come in to do it again, it only really works if you recognize them. i won him over a tiny bit, but not completely. he was butthurt and only stayed for 3 dances. maybe he'll come in again, but i'd be kinda surprised.

i worked with that uncouth girl AGAIN the other day. i have to avert my eyes when she's on stage, her dancing style is just too unsettling. it's like one long grandpa-butt pelvic thrust, with several legs-akimbo crotch squats thrown in at awkward intervals. truly bizarre. at least she finally got a cute outfit, though. still wearing chunky thrift store platforms, but whatever. at the end of the day, the bartender said to me, "wow. that girl really needs to dance in front of a mirror. WOW."

oh hey did i mention that that other girl i didn't like got fired? for stealing a pair of boots and didn't even bother trying to remove the "MISSING BOOTS" sign from the dressing room before selling them to another new dancer, who showed up at work in the boots. what a weird thing to do. why would you do something like that, for which you were surely 100% going to get caught?

apart from those two, the girls at work are the best thing about my job. i mean, of course, besides the money. the other night i came to work and i was super upset. i tried to hold it together but i was listless and bummy. but just dishing with the girls made me feel so much better. i know i always get all misty about this, but i just really love strippers.

i can't think of anything else to tell you about. i've just been plugging along. i have lived in my new apartment for a month now and i still haven't gotten a couch or any furniture. i keep saying i just haven't found the right stuff, but perhaps i'm hesitant to settle in? anybody have a cute couch? or some bowls? a chair? or a little shelf?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

cheap bastard and talking shoe

i'm back up north. i worked on sunday. i was so tired i fell asleep in the dressing room. twice. the only other interesting things that happened were a guy who paid for a lapdance and a half, stating that the first dance had begun after the song started. which was true. it was only 5 or 7 seconds after the song started, but i just didn't feel like arguing. i felt like, "whatever. get the fuck out of my face so i can go back to watching the clock in anticipation of my release from this joint." and then the other thing is that the gummy sole started peeling back from my shoe, causing it to flap around a bit for the rest of my shift. i had other shoes with me that i could've changed into, but i was just too lazy. the end.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

free day

today i only had one client. a regular of mine, the one who i see sometimes on the street when he's working at his vegetable delivery job. he's always surprised, every time, to the point where he almost drops a box of tomatoes or whatever he's carrying.

today he took a shower, then came out of the shower and laid on the table, then two minutes later sat up and said he felt dizzy. that he had gotten dizzy in the shower and it was only getting worse. he looked green. poor guy. he staggered around, getting dressed as quickly as he could, looking worse and more miserable with each passing second.

i felt bad for him, but i also felt really off the hook. you know when you have to work and then all of a sudden you don't? so. i took my ad down and went for a walk.

all the girls from work are gonna come out dancing with me tonight. i'm pretty stoked!

Friday, February 4, 2011

down south for a bit

i worked yesterday at the massage parlor. i saw an old regular of mine who is so sweet and easy to get off. he always tells me i'm really pretty and he loves to see what lingerie i'll be wearing. plus he always tips, and doesn't talk a lot, just kind of relaxes into the table and makes happy little noises here and there. so. that was nice.

then i saw a new client, who my co-worker referred to me. i called ahead and told her i was coming to town and that i was super broke, and asked if she would keep me in mind if anybody wanted a petite brunette for a double. i didn't think she's just loan me some of her own clients to see on my own. but that's just how she is: sweet. so anyway i saw her client, an extremely polite hawaiian guy. he was gigantic. i wondered whether the massage table might crumble under his weight, but it was fine. he had the smoothest skin i've ever felt on a guy. it was positively pore-less.

it's almost like my first clients were best case scenarios because the universe knew how terrible my last client would be and wanted to throw me some bones first.

so. my last client yesterday was nothing short of traumatizing. i've been seeing him regularly every time i come to town, and i've never liked him but he's so regular and always tips so well. plus he has fancy wine and those chocolates. i don't know if i can see him again, though. i'd like to say "i'll never see him again!" but who knows, i might be broke. well anyway, last night he was just so overly gropey and coked out. he was talking in circles, telling me stories he's told me over and over already. griping about other girls he hires. gossiping about our "mutual friends," which is to say, my beloved co-workers. i genuinely adore all three of the girls he gossiped about and i kept trying to steer the conversation in other directions. but he just kept up with it and it was such a bummer. i would've felt kind of treasonous not just leaving if i didn't think the other girls surely also endured these kind of lengthy diatribes about me.

all the coke talk was annoying enough. but he was also just so overly touchy. i am very touchy/feely with most of my clients but with him i just feel creeped out. and THEN he burped basically directly into my mouth! TWICE! both times i GAGGED and choked, and both times he pretended as if nothing had happened. it was so gross. he'd eaten something garlicky. i am almost gagging just thinking about it right now. i met my friend later for a cocktail and i gagged while telling her about it. i gagged in the cab on the way to meet my friend. it was that disgusting.

and then of course it was nearly impossible to get him off, but finally when my arm was about to break off, he came and i left. and i just felt very grossed out and disillusioned. and possibly drugged, like i was slogging through jello. i had only had half a glass of wine so i know i wasn't drunk. it was weird but i tried not to trip out on it too hard. instead, i tripped out on how his messy apartment had reached an all-time high in terms of messyness.

somebody had ordered a cab and i totally swiped it, i had to get out of there! i went to have a drink with my friends and i just had one cocktail and was suddenly in a blackout. today i feel sick and groggy. it's not awesome. i am not sure, i may have just been drunk? but this does feel somewhat similar to the time i was roofied.

okay well today i'm NOT working. i had a smoothie with a friend, laid in my other friend's bed and ate ruffles and gossiped, and now i'm just going to go lay in the park with my book. i'm reading a young adult sci-fi series called "the hunger games." it's engrossing.