Monday, December 13, 2010

diamond in the rough.

hi. i haven't written in a while. i'll catch up a bit:

last wednesday i had a really good night at work. i got another one of those guys who want you to "run away" with them. because surely, since you're a stripper, you're deeply troubled and have a lot to run away from. all you need is a rich guy to find you, to see that through your excessive layers of grime, you're actually a diamond in the rough. i'm pretty good at playing into this dumb game and seeming as if i do, in fact, need a bit of saving.

several hundred dollars later, the guy got way too drunk, left, and was quickly replaced by another good customer who wanted a petite brunette in his lap for a good long time.

then i worked on friday and it was extraordinarily slow. (i don't even know why i say "extraordinarily" anymore, since it's actually NOT very out of the ordinary to have a shift so slow that you barely break a bill.) as i was leaving work, though, this big guy i like a lot was coming in. i felt immediately bummed since i would've been leaving $100 richer if our paths had crossed half an hour earlier. but he goes "hey andi! you leaving? well here's 20 bux for ya."

"thanks," i said.

"no strings attached!" he yelled. "i hate it when people attach strings to their christmas presents!"

i wondered what kind of strings he could've attached to $20, had he been the type to attach strings. pre-paid lapdance? what? hmm. anyway it was nice to get $2o for doing absolutely nothing. especially since i was leaving with a paltry $92, and at least now my evening's total was over a hundred, which just seems so much more civilized.

sunday was our club's christmas party. it was really sweet and fun. i like all the girls a lot. i brought my sweetie with me and he dressed up SO CUTE. i got tipsy on white wine and bbq ribs. a lovely affair. really. a lush peach tree on my otherwise barren social landscape of late.

after the party i took a quick nap to sober up a bit and let some of the meat settle and then i went to work. the club was very dead at first. i was doing like $5 sets for the first hour or so. i spent a lot of time sitting with this guy named doug. he seemed like a good investment, but turned out not to be. he said something early on that endeared me to him. he told me his wife had left him after 21 years, and he couldn't believe it. he goes, "every morning i looked at myself in the mirror and said, it's not about YOU! and then i went to work. and did whatever i could do to make my wife happy. but it didn't work."

i sat with him for way too long but i didn't have anything else to do and he kept ordering us drinks. plus, his stories were WILD. he talked really fast and included TONS of details of partying with the Stones and what they ate and drank and what the hookers looked like, but then he'd gloss over kind of important things, like "oh yeah well that was the year i got shot so my foot wasn't working too good..." so, you're gonna tell me that bonnie raitt likes shrimp cocktail, the baby shrimp kind not the jumbo, but then you're not going to say how you got shot, or who did it or why. strange. he bought one dance after i hassled him a bit and then it was time for me to bid him farewell and go find my money.

i danced for some random guys.

then a really cute dyke came in and sat at the rack for an hour or so. just happy and content in her little samantha ronson outfit. super flirty. i thought it might be fun to dance for her but i had this regular who came in and kept wanting dances between my sets. then eventually he left and i was gonna hustle the dyke for a dance but right then her girlfriend showed up looking exasperated. she sat down and tried to appear to have fun for a while, but it wasn't very convincing. it's pretty rare that someone who loves strip clubs has a girlfriend who also loves strip clubs. i mean, it totally happens. but more often it's a bit contentious.

then i had ANOTHER guy who wanted a million dances and wanted me to run off with him. these guys happen a lot around the holidays. keep 'em coming!

finally i was off work and i was pretty surprised when i counted my money. there was a lot of it! yay!

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