Saturday, May 1, 2010


today was the slowest, most pointless day ever. the only good thing that happened was that the toothless geezer who comes in sometimes loved my new haircut. he came up to me with this wild smile on his face and said, "has anyone ever told you they like your new haircut?"

i was surprised and charmed that he noticed. he seems so checked out. "never," i lied. "you're the first person who's ever told me that!"

he seemed insanely pleased at this. "well. it looks good, honey," he said. "real good."

later, i hurt my shoulder a little. i'm not sure how.

also i gave a lapdance to a DISGUSTING couple. the man had come up to me and said, "you have a very beautiful vagina." his EXACT WORDS.

"thank you." i said. i've heard this before. a lot. i know i have a cute vag, but i mean vaginas are cute. it's almost redundant to say so, it's like saying "cute kitten." kittens are cute! duh!

"do you want to have sex with us?" he said, gesturing first to himself and then to his woman, a short-haired bespectacled pixie type in a long weird hippie dress, which she later revealed was purchased on ebay for two hundred dollars. what a sucker.

"no thank you," i said. they settled, instead, for a lapdance, during which the girl grabbed at the guy's crotch a lot and kept accidentally jabbing me in the thighs. it was weird. i could have gotten them to buy many dances, but they were kind of freaking me out. swingers have that effect on me. no judgement, it's just not my jam. plus my friend was sitting at the rack waiting for me to be done working and i knew she didn't have a lot of dollars. additionally, my stomach was growling and it was taco o'clock.

so i cleaned up, paid out, and munched some tacos. then i came home and went out dancing with a couple of my friends. it wasn't fun, there were too many people who dislike me and they were all in one place. mostly it was my ex-girlfriend's mafioso friend clique creating a minefield of stank-eye. what are you gonna do? there's nothing to do except keep breathing in and out and reminding yourself that peoples' trifling bullshit is nothing to you.

well. goodnight. tomorrow's going to be WAY better than today.

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