the yellow rose

i have been out of town for forever and a day. right now i'm in austin. i thought i'd work while i was here. i went to a club my first night here and after the lengthy rigamarole of paperwork and all that crap, i got out on the floor. i trawled around for an hour or so, but wasn't able to sell even one dance. it can be hard to sell dances in an empty club, especially when you haven't been up on stage even one time yet to hawk your wares. so i went and asked the dj if i was coming up in rotation anytime soon. he said, "i'll have you up in 45 minutes, darlin."

there were about 25 girls working. the club was big, but not THAT big. tons of girls everywhere, lolling around in the dressing room, making slow rounds of the club, leaning on the bar looking dejectedly around the empty chairs. i zoned out for a while and watched a girl on one of the stages doing clunky pole tricks and scrutinizing herself in the mirror like she knew she was clunky and wasn't sure how to fix it. i felt like saying, "try pointing your toes." her hair was in a bun! i can't even imagine. i would never wear my hair in a bun to work. also she wasn't wearing makeup. interesting. anyway she finished her set and then i looked around and, seeing more girls than customers, felt like it might be a lost cause.

the smoke in the club was bothering me, as was the club's decor. plus my hustle was on strike. i decided i would leave. i spoke with the manager, told him i didn't feel well, and that i hadn't made even one dollar and so couldn't pay my stage fee. he was surprisingly nice and didn't try to bully me into staying the way normal managers do.

i packed up my things in a jiffy. there was a huge storm outside, it was raining cats and dogs. i wanted to take a cab, but i had forgotten my lock and had bought one from the club for ten dollars so no one would steal my makeup or outfits. i only had one dollar left after that, and luckily that's what it costs to ride the bus in austin.

austin buses are a farce. they come very intermittently and don't seem to follow any sort of schedule. i waited in the rain for 45 minutes. i was sooooo happy to finally get to my friend's house and drink some rum with her. we lounged on the living room futon and watched "the proposal," starring sandra bullock. it was a terrible movie, but perfect for passing out to.