dear diary

i'm down south. i'm supposed to be working, but my phone just IS NOT ringing. i keep checking it to make sure it's on. yep: it's on.

since i've not been working, i've just been lolling around, pleasantly. i went and got a pedicure yesterday with a friend and then walked around thrifting. i found a suicidal journal at the thrift store, and could not help reading it. poor lady was super depressed about her daughter graduating from high school, because she'd miss her and also because she knew her husband was gonna leave her as soon as the daughter moved out.

totally sad. i don't know why i couldn't stop reading it. at the end she starts talking in the past tense, which is never a good sign. "i kept waiting for my ship to come in," she says, "but somebody forgot to tell me there aren't any ships for the nobody's."

then a cryptic poem, then nothing. maybe she won the lottery and moved to fiji. but i dunno...

well after thrifting i got a call and went to see one of my regular clients. it was fine. i'm only saying it was fine because i have this terrible feeling he's been internet stalking me so i don't want to make it worse by writing about him... actually you know what? fuck it. i've told you about him before, the guy with the really messy apartment who always has delicious wine and chocolates? sometimes he's been totally pleasant, fun even. but then other times he gossips a lot about all the other massage girls i know and it really bothers me. i try to steer the conversation to other topics, but it always comes back to these girls and what trainwrecks they are and how fat everybody is getting. i also always had this weird feeling he was videotaping our sessions. i looked all over the ceiling and walls and shelves for a camera, but he just had so much random electronic equipment that it was impossible for me to tell. i had totally written him off the last time i saw him because the gossiping and the possible videotaping just really put me on edge. but then he called yesterday and agreed to come to my place instead of me going to his, and i thought it might be okay since he definitely wouldn't be able to videotape me. but he gossiped just as much as always, and then to top it off he instilled total paranoia in me by referencing a picture of me and my sister on facebook, when i've specifically not told him i even have a sister and also my pics are private on there. just weird. totally weird. also he said several other things that creeped me out and made me think he just knows too much about me. so i'm definitely DEFINITELY not seeing him again. i don't need that kind of weird energy in my life.

then i went and snuggled in bed with my friend and told stories. that was nice.

today i planned to work all day, but again the phone just did not want to ring, so i only saw one client. he is an older regular who likes to be sissy-fied. he begs you to put a pair of tiny pink panties on him, and then when you wrangle them onto his giant frame, he immediately explodes. i've asked him before if i should refuse to do what he wants, in the interest of drawing things out a bit instead of letting him cum after only half an hour. he said he's really busy and usually short on time, and the way we do things suits him just fine. he's really quite an ideal client.

after that i dined alone at my favorite vegetarian restaurant. it's run by a guru and his cult of followers. strange place, but really soothing and pretty inside. also, the workers are kind of robotic and pay fastidious attention to details, so you know you're not going to find a hair in your food or a pebble in your salad. unlike SOME places, which shall remain nameless.

well. now i'm home and i'm gonna drink some wine and read my new book. "1Q84," by haruki murakami. i love his books so much. love love love.