Wednesday, January 11, 2012

brokeback lapdance.

last night was a pretty great night at work. except that this awkward thing happened. five guys came in from longview, washington, where they all work at the same paper mill together. they were all in their early 50's except for one guy, who was celebrating his 35th birthday. the young guy wanted a lot of birthday dances from me. then after a while he gave me $20 and said, "go get the bald guy i'm with, he needs a lapdance. he's so confused, he's been in a relationship with a man for a few years but he's finally over that. doing good now, he's got a girlfriend and all that. anyway, i'm gonna treat him to a lapdance with you." ...uh... so i didn't really know what to do, i mean this guy's sexuality is not my business, and it's not really my job to advocate for him with his co-worker/friend. but on the other hand, it's not that fun to give a dance to a gay guy who is going through the motions in order to appear straight to his co-workers. anyway i gave the guy a dance. it was uncomfortable. he was very stiff and appeared uninterested and miserable, though polite. so. then the young guy wanted more dances, and after those dances, he gave me more $ and goes, "okay now i'm gonna treat the guy with the mustache to a lapdance. he's the guy the bald guy was in the relationship with. he's straight now, too." whaaaat. i mean, what do you say? i'm just trying to make a living here, please don't put me in awkward situations. the mustachioed man was even more reserved than his boyfriend. he put his hands in his lap, as if guarding his man parts from my dancing. i wanted to be like, "hey it's ok, i'm a lesbian. let's just sit this one out," but that would've been so presumptuous and weird. so i just kind of air-danced and then a million years later the song finally ended. other than that it was a stellar night, just one of those nights where i feel in a great mood and the customers are good, etc.


  1. It doesn't sound like either of those guys are changed men. Pretty silly of that one guy to think you can just wash the gay off.