Wednesday, January 25, 2012

ying yang

last night this guy at my rack was looking at me super lasciviously. i mean, people look at me like that a lot, but this was that big bad wolfish way, like "i wanna eat you for dinner." i immediately disliked him, but i was totally certain that he'd buy dances. so after my stage set, i kinda nosed around among the club and made sure there wasn't anybody else who wanted my attention, then sat down with him for a minute. after a moment or two of small talk, i asked if he wanted a dance. he said, "well, tell me about your lapdances..."

i said, "i'd rather show you."

he goes, "okay, but i want you to tell me about it first."

even with cute, nice customers, i'm not inclined to go into tons of details to sell a dance. my feeling is: you either want one or you don't. take a chance dude, it's only $20 and 4 minutes of your life. (i'll hustle a lot more in a big club, but in my tiny little club the stage tips are good and so i don't feel the need for the hard sell.)

i said, "okay. well. it's a good time. i'll get naked and dance in your lap. feel like it?"

time for quick decisions, you're not buying a house. he goes, "okay! let's do it!"

i led him back to the dance nook, and danced for him. he kept trying to kiss me and i told him i don't like kisses at work. he expressed shock and dismay, "not even on your tummy? how about your arm? can't i kiss you on your arm?"

"no thank you," i said.

the song ended and i felt really done leaning away from his smooches. but he said, "can i have another dance? if i give you $25 instead of $20 will you put your tongue in my ear?"

"EWWWWWW NO!" i exclaimed.

"okay. well can i have a dance anyway?"

he was annoying but not so annoying i couldn't dance 3 or 4 more minutes for him.

this time it was just question after question. i realized that that must just be his "thing"--needling you with questions to which he already knows the answer is "no." i'm always happy to indulge a fantasy by doing basically nothing at all, and i obliged with many no's.

"can i have one taste of your pussy?"
"can i wait till you get off then drive you home?"
"will rub your face in my crotch now?"
"will you nibble my earlobes?"
"will you sit on my face?"
"can i just have one kiss on the lips?"

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, and absolutely not.

then he wanted more dances, and i would've kept dancing for him but he quite randomly pulled my hair really hard and laughed, and i got a glimpse of him as a possible serial killer.

after that i had a really rad customer. he had curly hair and thick glasses and was 6'8''. something about him was just so cute and fun, and i liked dancing for him. he wanted 5 or 6 dances, and then when i came out of the dance nook, the other guy was gone. :)

it's funny how if one customer is creepy and annoying, the next one will almost always be exceptionally rad. i mean it--the extremes come in pairs.


  1. same thing happened to me last night! One customer who kept trying to kiss my face and trying to entice me to come to his house and go on dates, touching, etc - so annoying - to really awesome dude who made me laugh a lot and kept his hands at his sides. Plus he had a big fun beard I kept petting, and all he did was tell me I'm awesome. Best customer I've ever had?

    1. wow someone's reading! hi. are you in portland?