Sunday, December 30, 2012

xmas eve eve

(this is from dec 23. i thought i'd posted it, but it was saved as a draft. oopsie.)

i got called in to work tonight and it was pretty slow at first, but since i wasn't on the schedule and was just covering for someone, all the money i made felt kinda like bonus money. i had a few good customers, and then i was sitting at the bar drinking a water. and this cheap loser who had been sitting at my rack earlier came up and stood behind me. he started talking to the back of my neck. i turned around a little to get him out of my neck zone (which is a highly personal area, btw--i'd much rather rub my ass on someone's dick with only a sweatpants barrier than have anyone who's not my girlfriend breathing, touching, or even vaguely nuzzling my neck). but when i turned, he was then like an inch from my face. unable to win, i moved to the next barstool and instead of going away, he sat down in the seat i'd just vacated.

"how's your night?" he said. a question that is just awesome from someone who has been watching you get naked over and over again for hours, but has yet to tip even one dollar.

"it's going alright," i said.

"not making much money, huh?" he said, and before waiting for me to answer he goes, "well i wonder why that is. maybe it's because when you get guys coming up to gynecologist row, A K A 'the rack,' you just ignore them and they go away. maybe some people don't like uptight snobs."

gynecologist row? BARF.

i said, "actually my money's fine tonight."

"well, i doubt that. and anyway it could be a lot better if you didn't play favorites at the rack. maybe then some people would get a lapdance from you."

his tone was mean, and bordering on hateful. "rude," i can deal with, but "hateful" just feels dangerous. still, i couldn't stop my self from saying, "yes. i do play favorites at the rack. my favorites are polite gentlemen who are tipping generously. not skeezy tightwads like yourself."

"i was only trying to give you some advice. bitch!" but at least then he went away.

i think i've mentioned that often when someone is really gross, someone truly sweet will come along shortly.

i was on stage a little while later having a fun time dancing for a bunch of cute people who were tipping well. i looked up and there was this movie-star looking dude at the bar. super handsome and well-dressed, and i liked him right away. he had a cloud of visible good energy around him or something. a little difficult to explain, but i feel this way from time to time about people, and they usually turn out to be great. he was looking at me and smiling so i smiled back and then continued dancing. the next thing i knew he was standing at the stage, making it rain in an expert manner (not just tossing clumps of bills and hoping for the best, which some people do when they realize they don't know how to do it like a rap star). it was beautiful, $250-ish dollar bills like snowflakes in a flurry, raining slowly down on me. then he goes, "merry christmas, beautiful!" and left.

in all my years of dancing, that's the first time that's happened to me. i mean, $20, $50, even (rarely) $100, sure. but $250 or $300 or however much it was looks a lot more magical. everyone really loved when that happened, too. it changed the whole mood of the club, and from then on it was CASH MONEY all night. i reallllllly needed a good night like that. it's crazy how a few crappy shifts in a row can sort of wreck you for the month. also crazy how one great shift can remedy your immediate financial woes.

if i'm ever rich, i am totally going to do things like that all the time.

3 comments:

  1. holy shit what a great customer! i don't dance anymore, but this still made me ridiculously happy and stoked for you!

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  2. Glad you had a good night. Hope you had a good holiday.

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  3. I regularly think to myself that if I ever won the lottery or came into a mysterious inheritance, the first thing I would do is go to strip clubs all over Portland and tip the girls tons of money like that.

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