feelin' homey

yesterday was a really good day. i woke up in my sunny apartment (down south) and luxuriated for a bit in my pink sheets, just listening to the oceanic hum of morning traffic and the tinny yips of tiny city dogs. finally i got up and went downstairs to the coffeeshop, where they always have the worst music playing. i think they own two cds: sarah maclachlan and ani difrianco, both were likely left behind by lesbian baristas in the '90's. oh, also sometimes they'll play the soundtrack from RENT. haha. additionally they have mediocre coffee and the middle-aged asian couple who owns the place never recognize me or remember my order, ONE MEDIUM COFFEE TO GO PLEASE, though i've lived upstairs from them for 8 years. kind of hilarious. why do i go there? it's right downstairs. it feels familiar. and i can put jeans on under my snoopy nightshirt and just go out like that because everyone else goes to the cooler, better coffeeshop half a block down so i don't have to worry about seeing anybody i know.

i came back upstairs and sat at my desk, drinking coffee and writing a letter to someone cute, and then i got a call from a regular so i went to the massage studio to meet him. entering the building, i had the warm feeling of being in the place you enjoy and where your money is. a hard feeling to describe, but as i rode the elevator, my heart felt happy. i unlocked the apartment and though i hadn't been there in over two months, it felt like i'd never left. i went to my cubby and everything was there just as i'd left it. i like working with girls who won't touch your mac lipsticks, fancy lotions, and betsey johnson shoes while you're away. anyway the girls i work with have chanel lipsticks and louis vuitton shoes so what would they want with my crap. but still: it's just the point that no matter what kind of things i had, they wouldn't ever take them: quality people.

i had 15 minutes before my appointment. i took a shower and remembered how much i totally love the piping hot showers at the studio, how you can just stand there forever under the hot stream and it won't ever run cold. i dried off and put on a little makeup and a cute bra/panty set. i lit some candles and put on music and then my client arrived. it was a guy i like a lot, who i've seen probably 5 or 6 times, but when i opened the door i suddenly couldn't remember anything about him. he looks a lot like this other guy i see who has yucky smelly foreskin. i couldn't remember if he was that guy or the other one. i put him in the shower and went to get him some water and when i came back he was face-down on the table. i went through the whole massage not knowing whether i had foreskin to dread or not, until the last part where i turned him over. WHEW! not the foreskin stinker.

he was an easy guy. he loved when i wouldn't let him come for a while. i remembered, finally, who he was and that he's a tiny bit submissive. so before i let him come i made him ask me "pretty please," a few times until he used a voice that was sweet enough for my liking. and then he laid there for a moment and said the same exact thing he always says after he comes: "ahhhhhhh another soul made happy." it's almost like a verbal tic. like when someone sneezes and actually says "atchew."

when i came out of my session, my two favorite girls were in the living room. rachel and i forget what i named the other one! anyway i was happy to see them. they were wearing identical outfits, which happens a lot and never stops being funny to me. especially since they have the same fancy purse. did i tell you this story already? how i came back from new york with a particularly realistic looking fake louis vuitton and they both admired it, and then the next day they each went and dropped $700 on the exact same purse, except theirs were real (duh)? mine is already suuuuuper ragged and fake-looking. theirs still look brand new. i guess some luxury items hold up more luxuriously than their counterfeits. anyway they had on the same outfit yesterday: black tank top, $200 citizens of humanity "jeggings," black shorty ugg boots. expensive comfort. they both looked really cute, though. they could kind of wear anything and look cute. they're very good-looking girls.

so. we shot the shit for a while, and they told me something HILARIOUS! remember those crazy pimps i used to work for? well they had all these fake handles on the escort website we all use, and if you got on their bad side, they'd use these monikers to write bogus bad reviews and shit-talk you on the message boards. well they got totally called out and now those handles are useless. plus everyone found out that when they were messaging with these certain young girls, it was actually these weird old pimps doing the dirty talking. hahahahaha. i can just imagine the wild drama over at that house when the shit hit the fan. i'd liked to have been a fly on that wall. those ladies have such a propensity for hysteria, even finding a pube in the sink will set them off, so THIS must've been pure pandemonium!!! LOLZZZ

i went down and worked out in the little gym. it was nice, i like working out in front of a window with fresh air blowing on my face. plus, i've gained ten pounds up in portland and it felt nice to begin to get pro-active about getting my bikini bod back. don't get me wrong, i still look HELLSA GOOD but i could look better, more toned.

then i had another client. i've written about him before--NO! MICKEY! NO! well, i'm glad i got the number wrong in my phone when i saved him as NO because he's actually become a favorite client. he quit smoking and took care of his backne, and he doesn't gross me out at all now. also he gave himself a makeover and now that he can get laid he's having this sexual revolution. it's fun to hear about in his nerdy stuffed up voice. he just recently heard of "rimming," for example, and he wanted to know whether he could try it on me. i told him i don't like it very much. (the fact is that i LOVE IT. i love anything ass-related, so i like to reserve these things for my personal life.)

then i ate a hasty dinner at whole foods, bought some headphones, and rushed home. i had a party go to. i wasn't that excited about it, but it ended up being IMMENSELY FUN.

today i'm not working. i'm spending time with myself, and then going to another party. ho-kay. bye for now. xo andi