Monday, December 7, 2009

i'm trying to avoid beginning each entry with "yesterday..." this is proving difficult, however, because i like to wake up and drink coffee while writing about the events of the day before, i.e. "yesterday."

but i shall try.


i'm drinking coffee in sky's kitchen. i just posted my ad, am hoping to work a lot today. i had hoped to work every single day that i was here at home so that when i go back up north on friday, i can bring a big sack of money with me. my goal was to make around $2500. so far, i'm not even halfway there! i've only made $1150. and i had charged a few things on my credit card, so i paid that off and now i only have $600. gotta work work work these next few days!

now can i say "yesterday?"

yesterday both of my clients were kinda icky. the first one was really nice, but had the worst, most unavoidable breath i've smelled in a really long time. it was practically gagging me, actually. he'd eaten a chicken sandwich presumably with garlic aoli. and had several glasses of white wine. add halitosis and you've got a gaggingly horrifying cocktail. and he kept trying to kiss me. it was his birthday, and he had tipped me $50 upfront, so then he apparently felt entitled to birthday kisses. i don't kiss my clients on the mouth EVER. it's just not my jam. and particularly not when they smell terrible. dodging his repeated open-mouthed kiss attempts was exhausting, and meant that there was a lot of his putrid breath in the air at all times. UN-IDEAL.

the next one was THE hairiest man i've ever seen. shocks and shocks of silver and white hair all over his entire body. i couldn't help feeling like i was massaging a wolverine-man. a really chubby one. i got him oiled up real good, and somehow, even though i didn't think the hour would ever be over, the minutes did still roll on by, slowly, even though i had felt certain they'd stand still.

then i hung out for a bit with my co-workers. they are all going to new york next week to work and it sounds like so much fun, i totally wish i was going!

i met up with sky and we went to a queer poetry thing and were held hostage for a couple of hours by Bad Poetry. there was a drag queen who performed the same lengthy boring piece that she did LAST month. i felt insulted, like "HELLO! we already saw this!" and then there was a poem about trees and rape. an annoying combo.

today, i wanna make a whole lotta money. money is so attracted to me this week, it can barely keep its paws off of me. money just wants to snuggle up in my purse and take a warm little nap in my makeup bag. money wants to have a rendezvous in my secret hiding spot. it wants nothing but the best, which is what i can provide.

p.s. i wrote to my grandma asking her why she hasn't called me back and telling her it hurt my feelings when she picked on me on thanksgiving. she said she hadn't meant to hurt my feelings, she was just being funny. but she said she was sorry and that she'll call me next week. i'm so relieved. it was terrible feeling like i had just become some sort of caricature to make fun of at holiday gatherings. i'm excited about spending the day with my granny next week.

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