the broke and the geriatric.

omg yesterday was the world's slowest shift. EVER. i mean: ever in my life. i made $19. can you believe that? and when you minus the $9 i spent on parking, i made TEN DOLLARS. at least i didn't really have to dance very much, though, just sat around having Life Discussions with my co-worker and my boss. we're all having the same problem: two loves, and you only get to keep one. do you pick security and sweetness or hot sex? go!

a woman came in to audition. well, two did actually. monday's the day for it. anyway one was a tiny lil speedy thing, tried out in flip flops and a swimsuit. NEXT.

the other one was the kind of older woman who "looks good for her age." she had totally ripped abdominals and not a wrinkle on her whole body. and a very good boob job, although they were too big for her frame. she had a total grandma hairstyle, though--short and permed. dyed red. she danced to the beach boys "california dreamin." it was strange to watch, like do sexy moves go out of style? were her stiff gestures sexy a lot of years ago when she was a younger stripper? and how many years ago was that?

when she left my boss goes, "try and guess how old that woman was."

"51!" i said.

"no way," my co-worker said. "47!"

my boss goes, "she was FIFTY-NINE!"

stunned silence. followed by incredulity and depression. these are TOUGH TIMES when strippers are coming out of retirement mere DAYS before their 60th birthdays.

we're all gonna be that old one day if we're lucky. i've got to put some of my eggs in a different basket. or buy some chickens? or something. STAT!