Tuesday, October 26, 2010

i don't like working mondays.

last night it was stormy and rainy as hell. i did okay in terms of money (only okay--by no means great) but it's only because i made a bunch right when i got there. after that, though, it was SLIM.

it was hard to even get anyone to pony up for a cocktail, let alone any dances. after one of my stage sets, i saw that there were some new guys sitting at the bar so i plopped down at an empty stool. "wow i'm so thirsty," i announced. 99% of the time that's when somebody will say, "oh! can i buy you a cocktail?" but this time, the three guys averted their eyes. i said, "anybody wanna buy me a cocktail? i'm so thirsty." the guy to my immediate left goes, "not particularly," but then the guy next to him goes, "oh! ok! let ME buy you a drink!" summoning the bartender, he said in a heroic, self-pleased tone, "anything the lady wants!"

i decided to just accept that this was not gonna be a big money night and take pleasure in the little things, like only having two more hours of work, and playing tetris on my iphone. i sipped on my vanilla vodka and OJ contentedly as the cocktail guy told me how he has developed software that allows him to log into the company network from his phone, but it will show that he's on premises and not that he's logging on from a mobile device. very clever, actually, and totally perfect for the kind of person who likes to swing by the strip club for a long lunch. he went on to say that his job is rad, he got them to pay for his monthly bus pass since he doesn't use the free parking space they provide for employees.

"that's rad," i said, "but why don't you drive? i mean, you have a good job so you could probably afford a decent car."

"i just never learned," he said. his parents died when he was 15 and he became a ward of the state, and none of his foster parents felt like teaching him. plus he was bereaved.

i told him how i just learned to drive two months ago and so if he wanted to learn it's not too late. i almost offered to teach him, but realized that would just be the cocktail talking so i kept my mouth shut.

"i don't mind taking the bus," he said. his cheerful tone was very convincing.

"that's great. i hated taking the bus, especially at night. but i guess it would be a lot easier if you were a dude."

the rude cheapskate guy piped up, "what?! how would it be easier? what a crazy thing to say!"

i really didn't feel like launching into a women's studies lecture with this guy. "girls get harassed ALL THE TIME on the bus, HELLO DUDE," i said.

"well what kind of neighborhoods were you going to?"

"it doesn't MATTER," i said. "guys will try and talk to you no matter where you are. and they will follow you. and they will say gross things. it's annoying and sometimes scary."

"well, what were you usually WEARING when you rode the bus," he demanded, looking me up and down accusingly.

"i didn't ride the bus in stripper outfits, you moron!"

"well, duh," he said. "but, i mean, what were you wearing?"

"JUST FUCK OFF," i said, angry that he was thwarting my money-less plan of enjoying the simple pleasures. and i didn't feel like it was my job to educate this asshole on how a girl could be riding the bus in a snuggie and a ski mask and she'd still be hit on mercilessly (i'm speaking from the place of a slender girl with long hair, but i'm pretty sure that girls of all shapes and sizes and hair lengths face the same ordeal on a constant basis), and how even if you ARE wearing a slutty outfit, you have just as much right as anybody else to utilize public transportation without feeling bothered or unsafe.

i polished off my cocktail and got back on stage. danced a few lackluster sets and then it was FINALLY time to make my escape.


  1. One time I was hit on while walking down a dark street in an oversized raincoat with the hood up. I could have passed for an alien. Or a gremlin. Men have psychic female-detecting powers.

  2. oh gak, i hate those guys. "well, what was she wearing?" as if it's ANY excuse for men to do the rude things they do...
    and yes, i got harassed on the bus incessantly, but i did perfect the "i have on earbuds and i can't fucking hear you and i'm ignoring you regardless" deadpan stare...

  3. The psychic female detector that guys have is from noticing how people walk.

    Guys have a tendency to stomp.
    Girls have a tendency to sway their hips.

    Portland has amazing public transport from what I experienced. Much cleaner than anything else I've been on in California.