Wednesday, November 17, 2010


work's been super boring lately. so instead, i'm gonna write a movie review.

i watched "the girlfriend experience" tonight, starring smoking hot real life pornstar sasha grey, who plays an upscale hooker named chelsea. her hair was so long and silky in the movie, i was truly inspired to just keep growing mine. and she had tons of super cute lingerie. she has a boyfriend who's a personal trainer. their relationship isn't that exciting to watch.

i remember hearing some girls talking about this movie when it first came out and saying that sasha grey wasn't a very good actress, that she was kind of flat. i can see how you could think that, but i think she was great in the movie. she is pretty subdued and maybe a bit flat, but i think it works for her character. she reminded me SO MUCH of a girl i used to work with, the girl who used to make SO MUCH MONEY. i mean, she was booked with back-to-back appointments and was charging $225/hr, in the worst part of the recession, when all the rest of us girls were running $160 specials. i remember doing the math and realizing that she was making like $900 per day, 4 days a week, so probably around ten grand per month. anyway, it was as if "chelsea" was totally based on this girl. same mannerisms, same style, same charming monotone.

there were a few parts of the movie that I LOVED because they were so relatable and believable. first off, the scenes with her and her clients were totally great. the guys would just talk and talk and she'd agree and be on their side, say whatever they wanted to hear, and then they'd talk some more. appear smart, but not too smart. they'd be talking, and then chelsea would do what my friend morgan calls, "flipping into vamp mode." this is when you start getting sexy, apropos of nothing that's occurring situationally, besides the fact that you are on the job. because sure, he wants to talk, but he also expects to receive the service that he's paying you for and it's your responsibility to move things along in that direction. i've started the sexy times while a guy's talking about the most mundane, LEAST SEXY things you could ever think of, and often they'll just keep talking about whatever random thing until they cum. this incongruity baffled me at first, but i must've gotten used to it because it stopped even striking me as strange for someone to be complaining about their boss while they were shooting into my hand.

another thing was when she has this client who seems to like her a lot and then for whatever reason stops booking appointments with her, and then she sees him out with another girl who she knows to be her competition, and her feelings are hurt. this has happened to every ho, i bet. i used to have this client i liked a lot, and then one day he canceled an appointment with me, only to show up at that same time slot at the apartment where i worked, to see a co-worker of mine. i felt embarassed and kind of tossed aside or something. although when i thought about it, i had to abandon those feelings because i mean, really? do i REALLY care about losing his esteem? no. do i care about losing his money? OF COURSE.

OH! and then she meets up with this guy who runs a message board with reviews and whatnot. and he gets her to let him test the goods for free, saying he'll write her a good review and it'll boost her business. WELL, then he writes her this terrible review. and it bums her out. that scene really hit home. one of the grossest guys i've ever seen, who was such a cheap scumbag, and who actually took the cost of parking OUT OF MY FEE because i'd told him it was easy to park near my incall and then he couldn't find a spot and had to park in a pay-lot. SO TACKY to nickel and dime this person who is servicing you sexually. anyway he smelled terrible and refused a shower, and was entitled and grouchy and hell-bent on complaining. he ended up writing a terrible review about me. and it totally affected my business. i still wish i hadn't read it. someone's dissatisfied play-by-play of their paid session with you is something i'd advise anyone against reading. it feels pretty gross to read disdainful descriptions of your body parts, voice, hair, written by someone who rented them for an hour. not to mention the demoralizing realization that this one unkempt disgruntled fucking loser knows he has the power to write something that will end up costing you thousands of dollars in lost business, and then does it. these guys take the reviews so seriously, it's insane. (OH, and p.s. this guy wrote to me later, offering me a "second chance" with him, saying he'd to write a new review if i wanted to give him a free session and try and do things "his way." i politely declined.)

the movie ended abruptly, kind of a "life goes on" ending. i wasn't super into it, it seemed like they ran out of money in production so just decided that scene would work as the movie's end.

"the girlfriend experience" is probably a totally sub-par movie with a dumb plot and mediocre acting, but i liked it a lot. i wish there were LOTS MORE movies about whores. i want to see movies where they're just regular people doing a job, not totally uncouth and tragically strung out, or a dead body lying anonymously in a ditch ("who's the killer?"), or basically flashy live scenery in an urban street scene.


  1. OMG I LOVED THIS MOVIE. like, sure it wasn't cinematic genius, but i love sasha grey and it was so good to see a movie about hookers who are PEOPLE just doing their jobs.

    i really felt for her with the review guy, too. ugggh i hate the review system

  2. yes! the review system. it's so gross. you should never read your reviews. reading mine made me SICK. to hear myself described like a plate of food in a restaurant or something. i don't know, blech.