Wednesday, August 19, 2009

you rang?

yesterday was SO SLOW all day. there were three of us girls working: me, lily, and a really cute new girl named celestial who's kind of a modern-primitive/burning man/punker which can be annoying but for her just sort of works. she brings these cute little hippie lunches of rye crisps, vegan cookies, and avocados. also she's from my hometown, which endears me to her.

lily has somehow worked her way off of probation. i don't know if i mentioned this, but she almost got fired a few weeks ago and since then whenever she works, either gigi or jane will hang out in the house all day to keep an eye on her. but yesterday she was allowed to work alone: thank goddess. i don't think i could have sat in the house all day with gigi. jane's bad enough, but she was still out of town doing her tantric sex campout thing.

we three girls all got there right around ten because gigi's been SUPER INTENSE lately about getting there "on time." ridiculous. i hate it. but until i figure out a new gig i have to do things her way. anyway, we sat around from ten till noon doing nothing. painting our nails, etc. and then i had an appointment, which turned out to be the only appointment anyone had ALL DAY.

the guy was a mid-thirties dorkball with a stinky ass and no sex appeal. polite, though, and easy to get off.

when i got out of my session, the girls were watching a show about grisly unsolved missing persons cases. it was freaking me out. celestial had many stories of her own to share. a friend whose traveling partner killed her with a machete in mexico. two friends being drug off their bikes and raped and killed in new orleans. scary. grisly. finally i was like, "can we see what else is on?"

we tuned into Lifetime: Television for Women. where we were delighted to find a "wife swap" marathon. we fucking watched FOUR EPISODES, back-to-back, without the phone ringing ONCE. that's FOUR HOURS. totally crazy.

so then it was around 5. i went out for sushi. i ordered a california roll with tuna on top of it, but when i got it there was mayonnaise oozing out all over the place. i forget that sometimes sushi places put mayo in their california rolls. i couldn't eat it. i ordered an avocado roll. when i left i was still pretty hungry. i remembered that the girls had requested chocolates. i stopped and got some.

back at the house, the girls were lying on the lumpy couches, awash in lethargy and the glow of the tv. "geez, really?" i said. "no appointments still? this sucks and it's SO WEIRD. well here are your chocolates." their glazed-over eyes lit up. it's the little things, sometimes. 

another episode of wife swap began. our 6th, i think. molly polished off her bottle of wine. celestia finished her avocado. it was 6:15. i prepared to leave. i got a call, then, for an out-call. i don't usually do outcalls, but i am going on vacation today to my hometown for a week. i gotta get my mom's phone turned back on and take my little brother school shopping while i'm up there. plus, i'd like to have some extra money to play with.

anyway. the guy sounded nice and the call was for the hilton. lily was quick to point out that nice hotel doesn't automatically equal nice guy, but she also said: "do it, girl, it's slow!"

i agreed to do the out-call, making sure the guy knew i wasn't going to do full service. he said he wasn't looking for full-service and that i should come on over. so it did. but on my way i felt nervous. i'd be up on the 26th floor of some huge hotel, it kind of felt like ANYTHING could happen. my mind flashed to all the episodes of crime shows where some dangerous psycho calls for a hooker and that's the last anyone sees of her. kind of crazy to think that someone called for a hooker and that was ME.  

(you just can't think about movies or tv when you're about to do something potentially dangerous unless you want to scare yourself out of doing it. you can't think of law and order: SVU, or that scene in Leaving Las Vegas where the hooker gets gang-ass-raped. when i was working for the bachelor party company and they'd send me out, and i'd end up doing a two-girl sex show, sometimes i had to really focus on not thinking of that movie with jennifer connolly, what's it called--the one where everyone's addicted to speed and she goes to do the sex party?)

as i rode my bike over there, the cool night air refreshed and reassured me. it blew against my face in a way that said, "things are going to be okay!" plus, celestia left the house the same time as me and her boyfriend lives 4 blocks from the hilton. she's a black-belt in karate. i gave her the room number and she said if i didn't call her at precisely 8:45 she was going over there to kick the door in.

i got to the hotel. rode the elevator. knocked on the door. the door opened and i  breathed a huge sigh of relief when this adorable big-cheeked japanese businessman was on the other side. he was really cute and his eyes were not the eyes of a psycho. he was a little nervous, which added to his charm. i undressed him and got to work. it went fine. he wasn't gross at all. he came all over my tits, though, and it was really thick and messy. i didn't like that at all. but overall, he was great and gave me a tip, too.

so. my first out-call. and now: VACATION.

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